Who is the girl in the mirror? A reflection of our desires? An overripe nymphet, who's desperate, curious naivete gently strokes the inner thigh of our most base desires? Or perhaps, it's all a well-rehearsed routine - she's angled her hips that way so many times that the motion is practically automated - plastic. Even the cat clock doesn't look surprised anymore - but the money's good and she stopped feeling anything a long time ago.
Actually, the girl in the mirror is the Hot Bottoms girl! She's part of Rene Rofe's new Hot Bottoms campaign: "Everyone loves a Hot Bottom!" I've been brought on board full time to work on it (I also have other, more tedious responsibilities).
Pretty significant, even though I've been freelancing there for almost half a year anyway, more or less at full time hours. I may have only changed the "occupation" field on MySpace from "comics artist" to "commercial artist," but it's a sea change in terms of mindset.
Truthfully, the life of an artist has been exhausting me for a while. When I left my first underwear job at Burlen, I had a lot of energy - I really felt like I was riding off into the sunset, waving a middle finger at every obstacle I've ever encountered. I woke up every morning with a purpose, and I felt like I was doing what I should be doing - the kind of work I'd do if I won the lottery.
Problem was, I didn't win the lottery. I was determined to stay out of debt, because I didn't have a plan to get out of it. At one point, I was actually spending $40 on groceries every two weeks and eating all my meals in. I was working on consumed almost non-stop and ended up losing 10 lbs. Just getting a drink with friends was cost-prohibitive, and I don't like relying on charity.
When I started working freelance at my new job, it took so much immediate pressure off. But pursuing Consumed and other personal projects while freelancing full time has been equally exhausting. In some ways, my freelancing gig inspired new ways of looking at Consumed, like this image I created using some of the techinques used to give clothing screenprints a "distressed" look:
But lately, it's gotten to the point where I've felt choked from a creative standpoint. This has been in no small part due to my various haphazard living situations over the past two years, which, to make a long story short, have not been terribly comfortable. Sitting at my desk and drawing for four hours does not have the same appeal it had six months ago.
Enter the girl in the mirror, and all her promises.
The full time job is allowing me to get a nice, comfortable spot in Greenpoint, which I'd argue, is Brooklyn's nicest (if not terribly accessible) neighborhood. I'll be living with one of my best friends and I can set up a proper studio again - with windows! (the first I'll have in almost three years - gotta love New York.)
Just knowing I'm going to be making a fresh start has gotten me back at my drawing board - even though I'm still creatively exhausted, I'm taking the time to get to know a little more anatomy to help me out with my figures. Interesting stuff - the human body is definitely fascinating:
I'm looking forward to getting back to Consumed - I think I'm still adjusting to an awful lot of change, but the idea keeps getting more focused in my head. Don't get me wrong, everybody loves a Hot Bottom, but I can only be distracted for so long.
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