Got some new pages, with my first bonafide sex scene in them. This is part of a montage sequence that shows dramatic change in the main character's life interrupted by a sequence where he quits his job. Needless to say, things get a little thick after that.
Its been real hard making artwork lately - or rather, its been easy making it, but looking at it when it's done is a whole different monkey entirely. I've been extremely critical of my work - sometimes, this is really helpful because I can look at it and see what needs more attention, and make the necessary improvements / adjustments. Lately, though, its getting more intense, making me deeply question my value as an artist.
I used to be quite certain I wanted some sort of professional job making comics, but the reality of that has appeared bleak lately. A published graphic novel is unlikely to make anyone rich or make it so they don't need other work on the side. And that's if you can even get a book published - my ultimate fear is that I end up toiling in absolute obscurity. Nothing is less relevant than art without an audience.
Right now I work freelance at a fashion place - it's pretty easy, I'm good at it, the people there seem to like me a lot, the money's good, and they want me to work full time. I feel crazy for not seizing this opportunity, but I just don't have the same passion for this kind of work that I do for comics. I never thought I'd become the "tortured artist" type but here I am. Christ, I even live in New York - I'm such a stereotype that I'm just an AIDS virus short of being a character in Rent. I've lost my confidence, and I don't know how to get it back.
anyhow, that was cathartic, but you're probably sick of listening to me moping. Here's some sex:
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