Thursday, December 20, 2007

My Fears as an Artist

I struggled a little tonight - the second panel didn't quite come together the way I wanted it to. It was tough - I've been working a lot lately, and the added stress, combined with less time at the gym and eating more food that isn't great for me has me feeling a little low. I looked at the stats for my website - not good! For some reason all the extra content I've generated this month has barely had any impact on the number of hits or unique visitors to the site.

Anyhow, these two factors raised the volume on a lingering fear I've had ever since I've started pursuing comics seriously - that I will spend the majority of my life toiling away in complete obscurity. There are a lot of artists that will tell you that process is the most satisfying thing, and that your art has to please yourself. Personally, I want an audience - I remember getting a taste of this in college when I received fan mail from all over the world for my comic Terrell Quimby. I've certainly done work that I'd consider more substantial since then but nothing has really clicked in the same way.

If this blog teaches you (the 2-3 people and perhaps my mother if I remind her) anything, it's that making comics is a lot of work. There's writing, drawing, finishing, coloring, type, publishing (you have MUCH more significant publishing issues with a comic than a traditional book), and then the challenge of making something fresh and unique. Realize that when you are in the graphic novel section of a bookstore you are looking at a repository of a mountain of effort. And those are just the guys who made it on the rack. The idea of dedicating myself to this kind of endeavor without ever generating a substantial audience - I think I'd rather die alone.

Anyhow, though, I sucked it up, put stuff in perspective, and after a shower, finished the second page and remembered that the particular stuff I worry about are problems I'm blessed to have.

It's important to remember to be patient with most things.


1 comment:

ratthew j moberts said...

i wouldnt worry that adding content doesnt increase traffic -- how could it? if you want other people to read this blog, you need to network with other blogs and get a little blogroll action going. this is a lot of work and you should probably just focus on getting the current comic finished for the time being...